Running in circles...

That pretty much sums up my life right now...I feel like I am running in circles and going nowhere fast! Seriously...I was trying to explain to Steve last night (in one of our rare conversations these days!) that I feel like I'm doing so much to try and please/help/teach/enrich both of our children, but in doing so, I feel as though I am failing them both! Neither one seems to get getting what they need because I am being pulled so dramatically in two different directions! I guess that's what you get when you have children 5 years apart!

I keep thinking that it will be better in the fall (don't things always look better from a distance?!?). Garrett will be in school and will so excited to be learning new things and having all these new experiences. I'll then have the chance to focus on Ethan...just Ethan for a little bit. I have been reminiscing about Garrett at Ethan's age...and all the things that we would go do. But I just can't figure out how to do the library story-times with the two extreme ages...or even simple little things...the pool is even proving to be so very difficult at times.

Now don't get me wrong, I love being a mom! I love it more than anything...and I love having my two kiddos. They are both miracles and the fact that they are even here and that I am here with them is priceless! I am cherishing every moment that I have with them (well, except yesterday...that was just a hard day all around!). And the age gap has been wonderful too in it's own ways!

I guess this feeling of trying so very hard and yet feeling like I'm coming up short is wearing on me. But never fear...I will figure it out - and I'll figure it out soon! I'm not waiting for the fall! Every day is a new day with new things...and with little ones, each day proves to be so different! Ethan is constantly learning something new and testing his boundaries - both good and bad! So hopefully, we'll find a happy medium here soon and we'll be back to our normal, fulfilling days!